My fingers tear across the hard brass strings
and they ache to find the right note
the right chord
to trigger my memory.
I found you once in a diminished B 7
but you vanished and moved on
and I’ve been playing ever since.
And what if you’re a melody,
Lost in a pattern in these goddamned frets.
Then I’ll learn to write songs
like I learned to play guitar.
I’ll find you, I swear,
and I’ll play you until I fall asleep.
I’ll play you until I bleed.
I’ll play you until I remember
and then maybe the song will be enough.
I can’t bring you back.
I can’t even dream.
But if I can resurrect just one memory
or hallucinate the feeling
of your beautiful, calloused fingers on my face
then I won’t ask for anything more except to
play your song
again and again.
I really like this one, though as I lack poetry technicals and poetry understanding, I can’t say why, but I like it.
I think a strong element in your writing style (poetry and long-prose) is a near-perfect if not perfect balance between your detail and abstract detail. Specific enough to be yours for certain, but a reader having lived a similar experience/feelings can read this almost as though the words are bubbling up from within their own soul. It’s almost like sharing the story with readers, letting them speak their interpretation when the emotions synchronize.
*your own heartfelt detail and more abstract detail.
Probably a better way to put it.
Wow – such a compliment! Thank you! I’m glad it comes through that way. That fantastic. Sometimes it’s hard to know what a reader will find in my writing because I can only see it from my own private perspective. Thank you!
I found you once in a diminished B 7
Genius!!
Thank you so much. 🙂
Oh I love your imagery. ‘I found you once in a diminished B 7
but you vanished and moved on
and I’ve been playing ever since.’ Soul touching.
Sometimes the like button doesn’t work whatevr I have done I just wanted you to kinow this is beautiful.
Wow, thank you so, so much! I’m going to go read more of your blog now. 🙂 Thank you for reading, and for your lovely comment!
Listen, you’re good. Walk on by is nice too in terms of your way with words and tomorrow, I am going to read more.
Hiya! Some beautiful imagery, Maggie. I love the idea of searching for someone in musical notes. Reading three of your pieces here – all filled with incredible images – I wonder nonetheless if your work would benefit from occasionally telling us slightly less. Up to “I’ll play you until I remember” is beautiful – but then the remainder of the poem, for me, rehashes the beginning slightly less beautifully and tells us things we have already learned. (I hope you are someone who appreciates critique, rather than just praise!) P.S. I think ‘goddamned’ is one word – I did check in the US English dictionary, in case it was just my British English getting it wrong 🙂 If you do ever rework it, please send me a note – I’d be happy to take another look.
Rosie, sorry for the delayed reply and thanks for messaging me! It’s funny, I actually self corrected the “goddamned” error before I read your message! Thank you for your feedback. At this time, I like it the way it is, but I always, always need some time to pass after I write a poem before I see it truly objectively. Right now I’m publishing to my blog almost immediately, but if I rewrite, I will update it. Thank you again for reading!
Lol! Thanks for the Facebook message, Maggie.
I also need time to pass before I can see if a poem needs editing or not – and sometimes I never work it out! I’ve got a series at the moment that may or may not work… I look forward to reading more of your work soon. XX
Bdim7 A7 Dm7 Bb
Nice chord progression. 🙂
It is beautifully written, but a heart remembers — and that makes us feel.
Internal chords have played a life. Blessings and love. 🙂
Thank you so much. 🙂
This blew me away. You should put out a collection of your work, I would buy it in a heartbeat. I would love to have this sitting on my bedside table to leaf through when I need reminding why words are so wonderful.
Kristina, thank you! That is way too kind of you! I’m hoping that blogging will be a stepping stone for me to self-publication, so we’ll see! You’re encouragement helps me more than you know. 🙂
Music is a wonderful way to express and as the notes hit, the emotions run through. you brought that out. I’d love to hear the song, if there is one
Thank you! There is not a song yet, at least not one that has been transposed onto the staff. If I do get something written and it meets my standards for sharing, I’ll definitely post it here. 🙂 Thank you, again!